190109

One day I will honour him, and when that day comes I'll be proud to be his granddaughter.

...

Finally (or should I say sadly), I am growing up. And for the first time I like the thought of being, or at least starting to be, my own person even though I am far away from being independent, without the need of anyone. I will miss the chained and restrained freedom which I trade for a more uncertain one. But nevertheless, i will be free.

Who am I according to you?

She stood in the crowd like a statue of wax. For seconds she didn't breathe, as if she wanted to distinguish life from death. To end her breathing in a world of vivid, vibrant and yet so empty shells. The deadly and flirtatious thought enticed her in a way she hadn't expected. Normally she is the one to observe the emptiness of the hollow creatures surrounding her, but for once, would they notice her if she, for their sake, put the alluring thought into effect? If she went from being warm to cold, from alive to dead? She thought about it for no more than a flashing moment before realizing it isn't worth it. Not even for the excitement that follows.

Längtan tillbaka.

Uppe dansar molnen lätt och flyktigt. Som om de var gjorda för att beundras. Avundas. Deras frihet får mig på fall för jag glömmer mig själv och minns mina barnsben på spring under den här bara himlen då livet inte kunde ha varit större än vad det var. Jag är inte vad jag borde vara och inte heller känner jag mig själv mer än någon annan. Jag ber om ursäkt för att jag har lurat er så, hade det varit medvetet, hade jag inte känt mig så långt borta hemifrån, vilket jag gör.

Life on the crime scene

Like a criminal did I do it. As if I was scared that someone would see me commiting a crime that can't be commited.

Army of Skanks.

They are not cool, especially not when they think they are. Becoming them is a disease I dread and I can't even begin to explain how much I despise them. Her other halves make me sick. Can I ever continue being a normal person without this nausea hanging over me like an evil cloud? They make her wicked and unrecognizable. Alone. They make it seem like she would never need anyone, anyone but them. But I see it all clearly. I see that they aren't "oh-so-pretty" and "life's-a-party", as they claim to be. They are no more than sad mortals with tragic lives who definitely aren't above anyone or above me. They are just like everybody else except for when they are being "cool", then they are simply pathetic!

<3

I will miss you, please take care of yourself.

My safe home.

He's leaving tomorrow and I won't see him in ages. I hate that. Not that he's leaving or that I won't see him in a while, but where he's going. I wish he didn't go to that dangerous place so that I can continue feeling safe and secure like a child. So I don't need to worry, who knows what can happen in a place like that? Because i do wanna see him again, of course I do!