"Better to write for self and no audience, than to write for an audience and have no self"...or something like that.

It is pathetic. But all I have ever dreamt of is to find real love. I am ashamed to even admit it. That's not something you do, especially not I. But after so many years of being forced to stay alone, that's all you can wish for.

Perhaps that's why they disgust me so much. Maybe "disgust" is not the best word to describe what I feel, cause I do want what's best for her. And if this makes her happy then I am, or atleast should be, happy as well. But I can't seem to get over the fact that love is not simple. It's not supposed to be. But that's exactly what their love is and that's not fair.